Intimacy In Marriage

Follow me in 1 Corinthians 7:1, Paul says, “Now, concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” Why? Because, “The wife hath not power…,” or authority, “… of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power…,” or authority, “… of his own body but the wife.” Now, notice verse 5, “Defraud…,” or rob, “…ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” I’m going to do something I don’t normally do, I am going to read the same verses in the New Living Translation. Obviously, some of you don’t have that translation, so I want you just to listen to it. It starts in verse 1, “Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

It’s clear tonight we are dealing with a very sensitive subject, sexual intimacy in marriage. Some say that we shouldn’t talk about it, that we shouldn’t even preach on it. As Christians, we believe the Bible to be God’s Word. We believe the Bible to be God’s rulebook for life, and we believe that God created and designed marriage. I believe that sexual intimacy is for many people, a problem. I know from my pastoral ministry, my counseling, and I’ve been married for many years, that sexual intimacy can create strife, difficulty, heartache and problems. It can be either bliss and blessing and wonderful, or it can be a real difficult, hard and painful kind of situation. God deals with it in His Word, and I think we need to have a Biblical perspective about sex in marriage. It’s important that our lives and our marriages are not governed by the world’s ideas, philosophies or views but by God’s views and a Biblical philosophy and that we have a Biblical perspective on marriage and life. I think it’s important for our marriages.

God’s goal for marriage, we have already seen this, is oneness. God’s goal for marriage is unity, oneness and intimacy. In Genesis 2:24, which is the foundation for marriage, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” The two become one flesh. That is intimacy in marriage, one flesh. It is a broad concept involving the totality of life which hints at an important point I want to make. Sex is only for marriage, and sex is to be the total experience of the whole person. It involves the body, the emotions, the will. It involves the heart. When you engage in this intimacy in marriage, you’re giving away your heart, which affects both your heart and your emotions. There is a lot of damage done to people in every area of their lives; their emotions, their minds, their psyche, their bodies, everything, when sex is taken outside the covenant relationship of marriage where God never intended it to be experienced or had. So, “one flesh” involves the total of the intimate life of a husband and a wife. A man leaves his father and mother and cleaves unto his wife and the two become one flesh. It is also true that there is no place where this total sharing is more beautifully pictured or fulfilled or experienced than in the sexual relationship of a husband and a wife. I’ve hinted at it before, but I’ll mention it. It kind of blows people’s minds, but when a man and a woman become one in this intimate way, (again in marriage and in this experience) it’s a reflection of the triune God; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit, three in one. Three, but one deity. So, it’s a very important and holy thing, and it reflects the very nature and the character of our triune God. So, God’s purpose for marriage is oneness and intimacy.

The Genesis passage goes on to say in Genesis 2:25, “They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” They were both naked, man and his wife, and they were not ashamed. Mike Mason, in his excellent book called The Mystery of Marriage, says this. Listen carefully, it’s a lengthy quote but is so good. He said, “To be naked with another person is sort of a picture of symbolic demonstration of perfect honesty and perfect trust, perfect giving and commitment, and if the heart is not naked along with the body then the whole action becomes a lie and a mockery. It becomes an involvement in an absurd and tragic contradiction, the giving of the body but the withholding of the self. Exposure of the body in a personal encounter is like the telling of one’s deepest secrets. Afterward there is no going back, no pretending that the secret is still one’s own or that the other person does not know. It is in effect the very last step in human relations and therefore never one to be taken lightly. It is not a step that establishes deep intimacy, but one which presupposes it as a gesture symbolic of perfect trust, surrender. It requires a structure of perfect surrender in which to take place. It requires the security of the most perfect reassurances and commitment into which two people can enter which is none other than the loving contract of marriage.” God sanctifies the marriage bed. It really does sadden me and breaks my heart that our culture today is so perverted and so twisted and has so ruined such a precious and wonderful gift that God has given to us.

In 1 Corinthians 7:1-7, Paul is speaking to married people. He is answering questions. I want you to notice in verse 1, “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me.” So, you need to keep that in mind when you’re interpreting what Paul is saying in this text. They asked questions. Now, the problem is, we don’t know exactly what the questions were. We know what the answer is, but we don’t know what the question was. It’s kinda like Jeopardy. I can’t do Jeopardy. Every once in awhile I’ll get it, but it’s like you’re given the answer and you have to ask the question. I’ve been watching Jeopardy since I was a little kid, and I still don’t get it. It’s backwards. You’re given the answer and you have to give the question. If you turn it around, I can handle that. So interpreting these words, we’re on the same kind of ground here. “You asked me a question,” Paul says, “…and I’m going to answer your question.” So the challenge is trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together and to determine what the question was that Paul gives in his answer.

If you’re taking notes, there are five facts about sexual intimacy in marriage, or five things that Paul says to them, in light of this question that they asked. The first point is, singleness is good. Notice he says, “You asked me these questions, I am going to answer them.” Verse 1 says, “It is good…,” not better but good, “…that a man not touch a woman.” Not touching a woman is a reference to the single life. In the single life there is no place for sexual intimacy. So, what he is saying is that if you’re single, it’s good, it’s fine, you’re not half a person, you’re not a freak, you’re who God made you. I believe that we should use singleness for service. As you read the whole chapter, you’re gonna find that when you get married, you have to concern yourself with the things of your wife or your husband. When you’re single, it’s just “Weeeee!” You can sleep wherever you want, you can go wherever you want, you can do whatever you want. It’s just, “Weeee!” You think, “This is a pastor talking about the glories of marriage?” I remember before I got married, I was a bachelor awhile there. I was a pastor for five years of a pretty good-sized church before we got married, and someone gave me the offering of a big chocolate cake. I’m a bachelor. I ate it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It lasted a whole week. I never tried that again. That much chocolate will really mess you up. Someone gave me an offering of a box of dates one time, and I tried to live on that for a week. I certainly won’t go there again.

I remember my bachelor days. Skip Heitzig and I are good old friends. We were bachelors together. He had his little bachelor pad and I had mine. The first time I ever went to Skip’s little apartment, he says, “You want something to eat?” I said, “Sure.” He said, “Well, I’ve got some beans. They’re already in the pan, we just gotta warm ‘em up.” I kid you not, we go into the kitchen and it looked like concrete. He said, “Hey, no problem, we just have to put water in there and stir ‘em up and warm ‘em up.” He said, “I even got some corn.” He brought frozen corn out and poured it on. I think about what we ate and what we did. We’d have popcorn for dinner! Then I got married. When you’re married you have to actually have a refrigerator and a toaster, and everything has to be in the right place. You make meals and you eat and all that stuff. So marriage helps to domesticate men. I got some single friends that are so messed up. It’s like, “Dude, you need a wife! You need to be domesticated.”

Paul is talking to the singles and he’s saying, “As far as sex goes…,” now remember they lived in a Greek culture, this was the Greco-Roman world. You do your homework, the Greco-Roman world was miles down the road from our culture right now in the United States of America. You think sexual liberation has arrived in America, you ain’t seen nothing. All this talk about gay rights and homosexuality being kind of a new thing, it has been around since Genesis, the early days of Genesis. It’s not new. The Roman empire was as corrupt as you can imagine. The Greco-Roman concepts of sex were just as perverted as you can imagine. So, Paul is saying to these Christians who got saved in this cesspool culture, that if you’re single it’s good not to have sexual intimacy with a woman, that you should abstain from sexual activity. I believe that is God’s design for the single life, that you should practice abstinence until marriage. You want to give your married spouse, your married partner, one of the greatest gifts that you can ever give them, give them your virginity. I mean that. If you want to bring hurt, pain and problems into your marriage that can last for a long time, be careful. Give your married partner your virginity and you’ll be blessed by that. Paul is actually saying that singleness is not better or necessary, but it is only good. In verse 7, he is going to say that it’s a gift that God gives to certain people.

Paul is not saying that sex is bad or evil. Sadly, there are some today whose view of sex is that it is a natural appetite, no different than food or the hunger drive or the thirst drive, and that we should just kinda go with nature and do whatever we want to, whatever feels good. That’s not what the Bible teaches about sex. Yes, it is a natural drive that’s part of what is called homeostasis, the natural drives, but that doesn’t mean that we can just let it go and do whatever we want. When it comes to sex, this is a whole different category than eating. With eating we wouldn't just say, “Well, eating or hunger is a natural drive, so just eat all you want, eat anything you want all the time.” We wouldn’t do that. We need to curb our hunger. We need to control our hunger. We need to watch our hunger. The Bible calls it gluttony. So, food is a gift from God, hunger is a drive from God, but we don’t want to become gluttons. We have a thirst drive, but drunkenness is sin. We have a sleep drive, but laziness is sin. We need to be careful that we use those natural drives in a way that God has prescribed. Then, some look at sex as a necessary evil. Sadly, some Christians have fallen into this trap, and it has been a part of the church in certain times throughout church history, that it is a necessary evil for the procreation of the world. Again, that’s not God’s view or the Biblical view.

The Biblical view is that sex is created by God. It is God’s idea, it is God’s gift. It’s for our good and for His glory, but only for married individuals, husbands and wives coming together in the contract of marriage. It is a seal of the marriage covenant. You want to know what the Bible has to say about sexual intimacy in marriage? It is a whole other study (write it down), it’s a book of the Bible called The Song of Solomon. It is a poetic book in the Hebrew Old Testament. Some say it is pretty graphic, and it is. If you knew Hebrew when you read that, it would cause your hair to stand up. It’s like, “This is in the Bible?” It’s in the Bible. Many of you know Warren Wiersbe who wrote the “Be” series of commentaries on the entire Bible; Be Real, Be Right, Be Free. The theme of each book was “Be.” Someone asked him, “Are you going to do the book of Song of Solomon?” He said, “Yeah, I’ll do Song of Solomon, but I don’t know what I’m going to title it.” Someone said, “Call it, Be Careful.” It cracked me up. I mean that’s how the Bible describes marital love and intimacy in a marriage relationship. So, it’s not bad to be single, but if you’re single, it is good that you remain celibate, that you not touch a woman, and the idea there is in sexual relationships.

Here’s the second, marriage is commended. Singleness is good, but marriage in verse 2 is commended. “Nevertheless…,” so there’s a contrast in verse 2, “… to avoid fornication…,” the word is pornea, “…let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband…,” because of the sinfulness of their city and the culture that they were living in, he says it’s good for a man to have a wife and for a woman to have a husband. I don’t believe that this is encouraging you to get married for sexual reasons, but later on in this chapter he does say it’s better to marry than to burn. You talk about misinterpreting a Scripture. I had a guy years ago say, “If you aren’t married, you’re going to hell.” I said, “Really?” “Yeah, that’s what’s in the Bible. If you aren’t married, you’re going to hell.” I said, “Where is that in the Bible?” He quotes the scripture from 1 Corinthians 7, “…for it is better to marry than to burn…” I said, “Dude, I don’t think so. It’s not talking about hell, it’s talking about your lustful desires. It’s better to get married if you can’t control yourself.” But, don’t get married just because you think it’s going to alleviate your sexual drive. Even in marriage you still have the sex drive, and you can be tempted and you can pervert God’s intended use of it. Marriage is, and it’s clear from verse 2, notice it, a man and a woman. It’s good for every man to have his wife and for every woman to have her husband. It is a monogamous relationship—a heterosexual, monogamous relationship. It is not polygamy. It is not homosexuality. Nowhere in the Bible is there any teaching or instruction or encouragement on homosexual relationships. The only place that it is found or referred to in the Bible is when it is condemned and clearly exposed as being a perversion of God’s order and design and is sinful behavior.

We do have positive teaching and instruction on sex in the marriage relationship. Notice that marriage is, as I said, a man and a woman. However, Satan has come along (we saw it in Genesis) and corrupted marriage with polygamy (Genesis 4), adultery (Genesis 16), homosexuality (Genesis 19), fornication and rape (Genesis 34), incest and prostitution (Genesis 38), today we have pornography and even divorce is a perversion of God’s design and intention in the marriage relationship. Verse 2 also shows us that the fulfillment of sexual desires within marriage is right, and fidelity to that relationship is actually commanded to each married partner. Notice in verse 2, he uses the word “own.” A husband has his “own” wife. A wife has her “own” husband. So, you’re not to go outside that relationship to seek to satisfy your sexual needs. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” God sanctifies the marriage bed. God’s design for sex is marriage. I believe, again this may seem a little radical coming from a preacher in a church from the pulpit on a Wednesday night, that God intended it for pleasure. It’s not a necessary evil for the procreation of planet earth. God intended it to bring joy, to bring pleasure, to bring a sense of oneness, unity and closeness to a married couple, a man and his wife. Nothing is equal to this one-flesh relationship in human relationships.

I’m a surfer. I don’t surf as much as I used to. I’ve been surfing for almost 50 years. Surfers will have what they call the “ultimate experience” when they’re riding a wave. They get inside the tube, or they get inside the barrel, or surfers will say, “I’m pitted.” They’re inside this wave, they’re inside this tube. I’ve heard more than one surfer say, “It’s better than sex!” Obviously, the dude has never had sex. He’s got too much saltwater in his brain. You’re crazy! Either that or you’re just lying…better than sex. God intended it for pleasure. God wants to use it to bring joy to your marriage. I believe that if we have the right heart and attitude, and we obey God, we can have that kind of intended pleasure in intimacy in our marriage.

There’s another book that I recommend to you. It’s called Strengthening Your Marriage by Wayne Mack. He says this, “The sex act is a means of deep communion and sharing through which husband and wife come to know each other in a very intimate way. Sexual relations are normal and an integral part of genuine unity in marriage. In the words of Dwight Harvey Small, they are a means of expressing, establishing, confirming, enhancing and nourishing the complete oneness of two persons in married love. According to the Bible, the marriage act is more than a physical act, it is an act of sharing, it is an act of communion, it is an act of total self giving wherein the husband gives himself completely to his wife and the wife gives herself completely to her husband in such a way that the two actually become one flesh.” Do you know what Paul the Apostle says to the Corinthians? He said, “You go and you join yourself to a prostitute…,” which was common in Corinth in that day. They had a temple in the middle of Corinth to the god Aphrodite with over 1,000 sacred prostitutes, and part of their worship was prostitution. Paul said, “…and when you do that, don’t you realize that you become one with that person. You are a child of God.” Paul argues in that passage that you’re going to join yourself to a prostitute—Christ joined to a prostitute. It’s not just the act of sex, it’s the whole person that’s involved. It is a picture of becoming one with that person, and God intended it to be in the security and the safety net of a covenant commitment for life in the marriage relationship. So very important.

The third point is in verse 3. Married people should meet the sexual needs of their spouse. Married people should meet the sexual needs of each other. Notice it in verse 3, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” It’s in the Bible. It’s in the Word of God. Paul says you need to meet one another’s needs in this relationship. Tim Keller, in his book, says, “Paul is saying that marriage is the place for satisfaction of sexual desires. Sex in marriage must be an important part of their life together, and sex should be frequent and reciprocal. One spouse should not deny sex to the other. It is a gift of God that only your spouse can give to you.” That struck me years ago when I thought about that. In the marriage relationship, there is only one human being on planet earth that can meet your sexual needs. It’s not on a computer, it’s not in a brothel, it’s not in just some casual one-night stand or hookup. It’s in a covenant of marriage where you commit before God and man and say, “For richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” It breaks my heart that so many people’s hearts have been shattered because they’ve given their bodies before they have given themselves to one another in a covenant relationship in marriage. Cohabitation is rampant in our culture. If a guy or a gal doesn’t love you enough to marry you, then what are you doing sleeping with them? I have people come to me all the time, “Oh, you know, we’re living together, but he doesn’t want to get married.” Are you stupid? How stupid can you be? I mean, you talk about a prescription for disaster.

Now, I believe if it’s good as a single person not to touch a woman (verse 1), guess what…the opposite is true. If you are married, it is good to touch a woman or a man. If Paul says to single folks, it is good that you not have sex. What is he saying to married folks? It is good that you have sex. I know what the men are thinking, “Amen, preach it, Brother!” The women are kinda like, “Oh, Lord have mercy.” That’s actually what Paul is saying in this verse. This is just amazing, it’s in the Bible. Now, what does the word “due benevolence” mean? It refers to your conjugal or sexual rights. The word render is a command, and it’s in what is called the present tense. So, it is an imperative, it’s a command in the present tense. It means that it ongoingly, continually you’re commanded to meet your spouses needs. Sexual intimacy in marriage should be a constant part of the marriage union. Again, I know that I am going to raise questions that aren’t going to be answered. I know that some people will be affected by this teaching, and they will be upset or they will be glad. I mean there’s a whole range of people from different strokes in life. I realize that as we get married and we grow older and we have children and we work and things happen, that it is a challenge. It is something, like other parts of marriage, you have to work at, be committed to. Sometimes we say, “I’m too busy,” or “I’m too tired,” or “I’m too this or that.” You know, it’s something that as we grow older and our bodies change and life changes, circumstances change, we need to keep this scripture in mind, and we need to make a commitment to this because it is an imperative. It’s a command and it’s in the present tense which means ongoingly we need to do this.

I know that it is challenging. I know that it’s hard. I know there’s a lot of sensitive issues that surround this, but here is the key, or one of the keys, you forget about your needs and you think of your spouse’s needs. Sometimes it takes being married for a long time to get this, and that’s tragic that happens. Even when you get old and your bodies change, sexual intimacy in marriage can be better than it was when you were in your twenties because you’ve grown up and because you have matured. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about your partner, it’s about your wife or your husband, it’s about others. What does Philippians 2 say? It says, “Let everyone consider others more important than themselves. Look not only on your own interests but everyone on the interests of others.” (paraphrase) Consider other’s needs more important than your own. Let me put it in shoe leather for you, “Husbands, your wife’s needs are more important than yours. Her satisfaction, her pleasure is more important than yours. Wives, your husband’s needs are more important than yours.” It takes dying to yourself and thinking, “How can I meet their needs? How can I be a blessing to them? How can I bring joy to them?” Then, to be able to grow in this area, you have to communicate. You actually have to talk about this instead of just strife, silence, arguing, tension and weirdness. Talk. Isn’t it funny how married people sometimes don’t even actually talk? You need to talk and share your heart, your feelings, your needs so that the person can know to meet the needs in your life. I believe that the key is that you seek to please your spouse, you give them the gift of intimacy.

Husbands, do you know what your wife’s needs are? Have you talked to her, communicated with her, and are you understanding of her? Wives, have you talked to your husband? There’s this danger that we don’t talk and we don’t communicate. Do you know what your husband’s needs are? Are you willing to give yourself to meet his needs in the marriage relationship? Proverbs 5:15-19 is kind of a mini Song of Solomon in the book of Proverbs, which, by the way, was written by Solomon. And though God didn’t condone it or approve it, Solomon had too many wives. Polygamy was never God’s design or intention. Solomon had 700 wives. That’s stupid. I often say, in light of it, is it any wonder the guy in the book of Ecclesiastes wanted to kill himself? He did say this in Proverbs 5:15-19, “Drink waters from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” What a great text for marriage. God wants to bring pleasure and joy in your marriage relationship.

The fourth point is marital partners belong to each other. Notice verse 4.He says, “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” Don't focus on your needs, focus on their needs and you try to meet the need of that other person. Do not defraud one another. Never ever ever use sexual intimacy as a weapon in a marriage relationship. Don’t ever use that as a weapon to fight with one another.

Fifth and lastly, marriage persons should not rob or defraud each other, verse 5. Don’t defraud one another. So the wife has not power over her body, but the husband. The husband has not power of his body. You belong to each other was the point I wanted to make in verse 4. Then verse 5, “Defraud ye not one the other…,” don’t rob each other, “…except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to the fasting and the prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” This is how verse 5 breaks down. Sexual abstinence in marriage must be of mutual consent. If you’re not being sexually intimate in your marriage relationship, it must be of mutual consent. That’s why you can’t use it as a war with each other. Then, abstinence should be only for a time, verse 5. There are dangers involved. It should only be for the purpose of fasting and prayer, not watching the football game or going shopping or whatever it is you want to do. Fasting and prayer, or “the fasting and prayer.” In other words, you devote yourself to God. Then, sexual intimacy should be resumed so that Satan does not tempt you to fulfill your desires outside of your marriage. This is what we want to end on. I want to really drive home this point because it really is important.

There really is a devil, and he really hates your marriage. He really wants to destroy it. One of the means by which Satan destroys marriages is adultery, infidelity. This introduces us to next week’s subject. One of the reasons for divorce is sexual immorality in marriage. It is one of the most tragic things I’ve ever witnessed. When a person finds out that their marriage partner has been unfaithful, it is devastating. For many people, it’s worse than finding out that their spouse died in a horrible accident. What Paul says in verse 5 is don’t abstain for very long. Don’t go on long periods of abstaining from sexual intimacy in your marriage. Do you know why? Because Satan will use it to tempt you. Be careful if you use sex as a weapon, you can drive your spouse into the arms of someone else. I have actually seen couples use it for that purpose to drive their spouse into an adulterous relationship so that they can get a divorce and they can get out of their marriage. I’ve seen them do it intentionally, and it’s tragic. The devastation goes on for years.

Why should you do that (come together again)? Lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self control. You need to realize, I am weaker than I think and Satan is stronger than I think. I am weaker than I realize, and Satan is stronger than I realize. I believe that if you’re married, you need to put up borders and boundaries, and you need to put up protections. I actually believe with all my heart (I’m sharing Pastor John to people right now), if you’re in a job situation where you are alone with someone else of the opposite sex working together and you know that there’s a danger, there is a problem—get another job! Get a transfer. Change your situation. I see some people working together and I think, “I don’t think that’s good for a married situation.” You spend all day with this partner working together. It’s just dangerous. You have to actually know that you are weaker than you think you are, and Satan is stronger than you think he is. You have to put up boundaries. I have parameters in my own life. I have things that I won’t do, places I won’t go and people I won’t talk to. There are rooms I won’t go into alone with the opposite sex. I have all these standards, rules and guidelines that I govern myself by because I realize I have to guard myself in these areas. Yet, I see married people all the time flirting, going out to lunch with people they are not married to, going out for drinks after work or parties, or driving in cars together. It’s dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous.

I’ll tell you something else. Whenever I am talking to a group of people this size, I can guarantee you that there’s a married couple here tonight that’s flirting with danger. You’re being attracted to somebody at work, you’re spending too much time with somebody at work, you’re going out to lunch too much with somebody at work, you’re talking on the phone a little too much with somebody from work. God would tell you right now to put on the brakes, to stop and to turn around. If God is speaking to you tonight about that, don’t go down that road. The Bible says if your right hand offends you, you need to cut it off. If your right eye offends you, you need to pluck it out. It’s better to go into heaven maimed or wounded than it is to be cast whole into hell. Guard yourself, protect yourself. It may be television, movies, romantic novels, the internet. Throw your computer into the trash. Put protective shields on it. Do what you have to do. Jesus said if you look lustfully and longingly after someone else, that you commit adultery in your heart. You know, God wants not only our bodies, He wants our hearts and He sees what others don’t. We need to protect and guard ourselves. I love what Martin Luther, the great Protestant reformer once said. He said, “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” Isn’t that great? Make your husband eager to come home. If a wife is responding in love to her husband, he is not going to hang out at the Fuzzy Frog afterward. He’s going to get home. “I want to get home to my wife!” Be the kind of husband that once you’re home, your wife actually hates to see you go, as opposed to, “Don’t you have anything else to do?” “Don’t you have a job?” “Can’t you go do something?

Intimacy in marriage, every time a husband and wife are intimate in marriage, they are renewing their covenant. They are actually renewing their covenant. They’re giving themselves to one another. What a blessed thing that is. God wants to bless your marriage. If you are filled with the Holy Spirit and you want to humbly glorify God, and you want a marriage that will last a lifetime, then you’ll seek to be a blessing to your spouse, amen?